Dance Through It

I know for many of us seeing pics of Mike is painful, and coming to this site can feel overwhelming. I totally get it. I feel it too. I’ve barely been able to look at this site since it launched on his birthday in February.

Maybe it’s even more painful now, after all the upsetting news and uncertainty and triggering talk of illness and death. This is a really difficult and scary time for every human in the world.

But, for me, lately I’ve been feeling the pull. Telling stories about Mike helps me feel closer to him, and I miss that feeling.

Also, I finally figured out how to fix the comments, so if you want to share something about Mike (or anything, really) on the Memories page or at the bottom of this or any post, you *should* now be able to see what you’re typing, lol.

Dancing at the FedEx

So, in the spirit of finding things to get us through this strange phase of life, here’s something that always makes me smile (okay, often through tears).

The backstory here is, in late August 2018, shortly before we moved to SoCal, Mike and I were on our way out to my sister Tina’s place in Pleasanton, CA, but I had to stop at a FedEx Office to send a fax (it was not a fun fax…we won’t get into that, I say that just to set the tone).

I was all serious and focused on the stupid fax machine as some funky ’70s-sounding song was playing pretty loudly. Then I looked up to see this:

I started recording. At first he didn’t notice. He was in his own world.

People were definitely looking at him. Mike, being Mike, did not care.

“They’re the ones that are WEIRD,” he says at the end of the video.

Here’s Mikey, six months in to this diagnosis, no ability to use his arms, under no illusions about what was happening to him, dancing and being a goofball and making me laugh in a flippin’ FedEx Office.

I shared this video with my grief support group a month ago and they all loved it so much. The other day on the phone, one of the women told me she still thinks about the video and asked me if I’d posted it to the website yet.

No legs necessary

Fast forward to last spring. We’re at the bank, Mike in his power wheelchair near the accessible teller window, me in the long “regular” line, both waiting to see who will be served first. Super bored.

Again, a funky ’70s song playing loudly. I can’t remember what song it was. With our eyes locked across the crowd, we both start swaying subtly in time to the music.

Then, using the joystick on his chair, he moves an inch forward, an inch back, front wheels left, then right, then a full spin.

Right in front of about 20 bored customers waiting in line at the B of A, everyone staring, he’s making his chair dance.

I would give anything to have a video of this. I play the video in my mind a lot.

Sheila and I still tell people about how he made us laugh every single day. How did he do that?

He was just being Mike.

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Trying to channel the spirit of Mikey, the other day, after signing off from my work computer for the week, I had a living room dance party by myself in my sock feet. I like to think he was there too.